Browsing Category: "Funny"
Does Management really know their Staffs?
On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young
boy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.
He approached the young man and calmly said to him,
How much do you earn?”
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less,
“I earn $ 2 000.00 a month, Sir. Why?”
Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $ 6000.00 cash then gave it to the young man and said:
“Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months ’salary’, now GET OUT and don’t come back”.
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.
Noticing a Few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner:
“And that applies for everybody in this company”.
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him,
“Who’s the young man that I just fired?”
To which an amazing reply came of,
“He was the pizza delivery man, Sir…!!!”
He surprises… and walk away!!
Thinking of getting married? Read it first & decide !
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6
I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men often complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge, the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony-Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance! Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2
However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!
Best of luck,
Tech Support
George Bush in Primary School
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time.One little boy puts up his hand and George
asks him what his name is. “Bob”.
“And what is your question, Bob?”
“I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
And
Third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden? ”
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, “OK, where were we? Oh that’s right — question time. Who has a question?”
A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is. “Steve”
“And what is your question, Steve?”
“I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
And
Fifth, where is Bob?” 
